how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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