dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
