Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
