Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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