he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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