Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
