The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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