ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
