i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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