didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
