stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
