Define "chronic" masturbator.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
