Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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