Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
