we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
