how do flat chested girls get laid?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Enjoy the penises
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize