Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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