4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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