I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
