how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
