We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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