I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
