the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
