just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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