scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
