I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
