So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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