Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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