i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
