I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
