My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
