I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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