Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
