We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
As shirtless as possible
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
