i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
