arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
