I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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