um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize