Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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