Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
