you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
