Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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