We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
