so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
