no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
