Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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