this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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