I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
