i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
