yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize