This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
