guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How does one acquire holy water?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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