Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
