I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
