I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize