On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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